SOUNDS OF SILENCE

by Fr. John Dresko

And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and broke in pieces the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a still small voice. And when Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his mantle and went out... (1 Kings 19:11-13)

Silence (or "stillness") is a commodity that is in very short supply in today's world. Nonetheless, it must become an essential part of every Christian's life. To come to know God, to hear God, to see God, we must be, first of all, silent.

On the very first day of Great Lent, my family strives to shut out the world and all its noise. We turn off the TV, radios, stereos, etc. We pray and we read and the kids play quietly. On that first day last year, I took my dog for our customary walk, and as we moved from one of the main thoroughfares onto a side street, a gift from God was presented to me - all traffic was suddenly gone. The only thing I "heard" was the silence. It hit me at that moment that our efforts at home were only partly successful, because real silence is not possible in a house with six people and a dog! Real silence is not possible in this world with all of its hectic paces! Real silence is only possible when you are alone and is only attainable in your heart.

The biggest surprise I had with this silence was how deafening it was! In the quiet of my heart, with only the occasional breeze or the dog's panting and running to disturb the heart, it became quickly obvious that silence presents us with a conflict - a conflict in which we, for the most part, do not enjoy taking part. That conflict is the same conflict that Elijah faced when listening for the Lord. On the one hand, there are many things that come by in the quiet of our thoughts; things which are not quiet at all. Feelings, problems, temptations, ideas, desires, and numerous other things, some of which, at first glance, seem to be "holy." On the other hand, it is obvious from the Scriptures and, if we are honest with ourselves, from experience, that God does not speak to us through such noise. Rather, He comes to us in a "still, small voice" that is only audible when we shut out the world, temptations, etc.

For the most part, humans (especially 20th century humans) are uncomfortable with silence. We are uncomfortable because we are faced with two realities: the reality of God and the reality of our "self." Those two realities are not always compatible, and very often, we "like" neither one. If we struggle to acquire true silence in our lives, even if only for a few hours, are we not faced with all sorts of horrible thoughts and temptations? Are we not "bored" with silence? Are we not at times even overwhelmed with the multitude of various thoughts and desires that creep into our minds? Are we not uncomfortable with having to "choose" between our desires and godliness? So we put off the choice ­ we try to be neither holy nor evil, we try to walk a tightrope. We understand and know that as Christians, we should strive to fight off those temptations and desires, but it is easier to avoid them by covering up the silence with noise. In the silence of our heart, there seems to be always a battle poised to begin.

But the Christian comes to know that the battle must be fought - not avoided. Just as we are faced with countless temptations and desires in the quiet of our hearts, so also are we faced with the presence of God. True prayer, true repentance, true confession and contrition is not possible in the midst of noise, it is only possible in the silence which is the language of God. True godliness is possible only when we allow Him to enter the quiet of our hearts with the divine Light which will fill the darkness. True defeat of temptation is possible only when it is faced, fought and overcome by the grace of Godnot by avoidance. So the "silence" which is necessary and unavoidable for the Christian is really a very uncomfortable, noisy silence, but it is not the noise of this world and its desires. It is the sound of God speaking to us and leading us into battlethe battle for the eternal salvation of our souls. Indeed, the sounds of silence are the sounds of God's heartbeat, which will replace our own and give us His life. If we are but smart enough to "listen" to the silence.