FATHER'S DAY

by Fr. John Dresko

For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named...

(Ephesians 3:14)

Every June, in America, a Sunday is set aside for Father's Day. It is the traditional day of ties and newspapers, and a few relaxing moments for Dad in his hectic life. Although begun for a very good reason, to "honor" our fathers, the reason is, nonetheless very emotional ­ one could even say "mushy." But the Scriptures are very clear in their teaching about fathers ­ because there is only one Father, God the Father.

"Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." (Ephesians 6:4) The very first example of "father" to all of us is, of course, our physical father. St. Paul and the rest of the Scriptures are clear in saying that the father (or husband) is the head of the family, just as Christ is the head of the Church, or just as the Father is the first Person of the Trinity. In both cases (Jesus and the Father), the "fatherhood or 'husbandhood'" is expressed in the same way: the father (or the husband) is the source of life in the family ­ the provider of the "seed." Jesus provides the seed for the birth of the Church through His death, resurrection, ascension and sending of the Holy Spirit. God the Father provides the seed of life for the world by willing creation. And our human fathers provide the physical seed for our own birth, but also provide the emotional seed by guiding and leading us as we grow. The Father expects but one thing of His creation ­ to be faithful and loving. When we fail in that, He expects us to repent and be sorrowful. Jesus expects but one thing of His Church, the New Israel ­ to be faithful and loving, in a deeper and fuller way than the first Israel ever did. When we fail in that, He expects us to repent and be sorrowful. So also, then, does our earthly father expect (and deserve) but one thing ­ that we be faithful and loving. And when we fail in that, he expects us to repent and be sorrowful. With all three, love allows complete and unconditional forgiveness when we repent.

But a father is not just a dispenser of "seed." A physical father is a complete and abject failure if the act of procreation were the only act in which he participates. A father also has the responsibility (as we read from St. Paul above) to "bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." Note that St. Paul does not simply say "discipline and instruction," for there are many types of disciplines and many instructions which a father can give to his child, ranging from how to avoid touching a hot pan to hitting a curve ball, to beating his wive. Indeed, St. Paul tells us, a father's greatest responsibility is not creating a child ­ but raising one to be godly. So just as God the Father provides everything in creation that we need to survive and even flourish, so a physical father must provide for ALL the needs of his children. That would imply food, shelter, knowledge, wisdom, strength, prayer, an appreciation for the life of the Church, a giving spirit to those others not in the same circumstances, etc. Thus, a "father" is, in the deepest sense of the word, not a title relegated to a "physical" being, but rather, a spiritual and emotional being. When a father does not provide these things, and thus imitate the only real Father, he is not being a father at all. A father is a father when he reflects God. When he reflects someone else ­ even himself ­ he is not being a father.

But the Lord, in His wisdom, also provides in the life of the Church a spiritual father; a father who has no physical connections at all with his children, but is bound in just as important a way to them through his spiritual relationship with them. For most people, this spiritual father is their pastor, although that is not always the case. Sometimes, with the blessings of a pastor, a person may have a different spiritual father or confessor. Nonetheless, the only way we can have life in the Church is to be born of the Church. And the Church is the Body of Christ, and Christ is the Head of that body. His presence is what makes the Church the Church. And His presence is seen and manifested in the life of the Church through the priesthood. A man we call "Father" stands at the head of every Orthodox Christian community.

This spiritual father has the same source of life and the same responsibilities as our physical father ­ basically, to reflect God. The spiritual father gives us life through the seed of his preaching, teaching and pastoral care. He is the guardian and dispenser of the Sacraments, the life-giving source of Grace in the Church. He rebukes us when we sin and err, and pronounces God's forgiveness when we repent. And none of this is of his own desires or will ­ he is responsible before God Himself for the conduct of his priesthood. St. Paul tells the Corinthians: "I do not write this to make you ashamed, but to admonish you as my beloved children. For though you have countless guides in Christ, you do not have many fathers. For I became your father in Christ Jesus through the gospel. I urge you, then, be imitators of me." (1 Corinthians 4:14-16) In the life of the Church, the priest (or, of course, the bishop) is the father of our spiritual lives, and the Church Herself is our mother ­ nurturing us to growth.

For both "fathers," the only beginning to fatherhood; the only beginning to the growth which our fathers provide; the only beginning to the instruction we receive while seated at their feet; the only beginning to the nurturing and care; the only beginning, indeed, to the creation of children, both physical and spiritual, is love. For a father to be a father, he must reflect God, and "God is love." (1 John 4:16) The creation of the world took place because God loves, our creation took place because God loves, we have parents because God loves, the Church is truly our "family" because God loves. As we pause on this Father's Day, may we be worthy of returning that love!